Prateek Goutam: Kill I Must

I am an Apex Predator well I am God actually, I kill people & I am very good at it. Why do I kill people?

Am I insane? Am I a freak? Am I a psychotic? Am I an animal?

I enjoy killing, why? I keep killing to know the answer,simple. I have killed 5 women & 2 men till now, why the women number's higher? Well, I am not a misogynistic, may be but I kill only when I feel the urge. I relieve the pain of my art works, what you poor sods call victims. Its something I enjoy doing, when the cold blade cuts through the warm flesh, Yes I prefer the blade to the bullet. I enjoy serenading my victims in a dance in the pale moon light with me instead of the devil. I feel murder is overrated, actually the term killing suits the thing better. I am just like you, just another happy go lucky guy, I work like any other guy, have a beautiful girlfriend & good friends, really good friends & I enjoy life. But when that urge comes, it takes over & then on I am someone different, I am the God, above all. I play the all mighty when it comes to the killing, Oh & I am pretty good at it. I go to places, meet people & when I find people that cause distaste or are not of any right to love, I kill them. I find it pretty easy to draw people towards me, may be its just my rugged good looks, I am not insanely handsome but its the brooding & the attitude that works.

I remember my first kill, it was in the beautiful summer of 2004. I remember going out with this girl of my class, during my college days in Delhi, she was cute, beautiful & lovable but she never restricted her hormonal urges within me, the bitch cheated on me regularly. I remember watching her with a friend of mine several times on his bike, going around, having fun & getting fucked by him in his room. I knew all this but I felt that we just had a casual relationship, nothing more but once I had the misery of following them to see what they were up to? They went to a movie together & I bought a ticket too, to see what they were up to? I remember watching them kissing in the theatre countless times & the way he was groping her & she was reacting, my entire body was simmering with anger, I wanted to kill them right there but I abstained, I came back & acted as usual. I remember watching them go to his apartment after the movie, Poor me poor bastard that I was, I remember following like a dumb lamb, they spent a good 3 hours inside his room. I sat like a pile of woods below his apartment & dragged on ciggies. I remember coming back after they left & came back to my college campus of Delhi University, she came running to me when she saw me in campus later that evening. She ran towards me, kissed me. She was stinking of that Bastard, all of her body, even her cells were stinking of him. I tried to abstain myself but I couldn't in those moments, I really discovered my inner self. I thought of something, I asked her to come to Ooty on a trip with me.

She happily obliged, that fucking bitch & her guts. I knew she was a fickle minded, wayward girl from a middle class family but the way bitch behaved, it was like she descended from heaven & did a favour on everyone, she said she can make up something in hostel & in her family, she finally came up with the idea of a workshop for partial fulfillment of studies in Ludhiana & took time out for 4 days.It was a hush hush trip, with only a few friends knowing about it. We came to Ooty, all the way I kept talking to myself about what I am going to do with her & I decided, i was going to relieve her of her sorry ass life. I remember the sex we had, it was good, steamy, wild & unstoppable. We didn't get out of the room for 2 days, the housekeeping got bored with us & I felt famished of all the sex & the blowjobs & I almost seemed to forget about her fate & then on the third day we went for some sightseeing & again her eyes started roving around for other guys, a jolt came to me & I came back to reality from that dream land. After we came back, I left her in the room, told her I was going out to buy condoms & took a stroll & debated with myself over how & not why should I kill her? I went to the drug store got a whole box of condoms, the man at the store smirked in a way that made me laugh & then I presumably stared at his wife who was sitting at the billing machine & gave her the box to bill, his smirk changed to a frown & hers to a muffled grin, I don't know what happened after i left & went to another drug store & bought a pair of surgical gloves. All over I went to several stores & bought things like surgical blade, gauge cloth, medical spirit. At some stores they gave weird looks but I told I need it urgently because my friend is injured while trekking & I need it urgently. The lie always works you know,people believe your lies more than the truth. I got all I wanted.

I returned to our room, the bitch was all horny for the fuck & was strolling around in her nightgown. I caught hold of her & told her she was in for a surprise & blindfolded her. Then I took her & bound her hands & legs to the railing of the bed with the gauge cloth & started fucking her. She started moaning & I remembered the faint moans of her in the theatre. I put some more gauge cloth in her mouth she tried protesting but in the heat of the moment, she stopped it & while I was penetrating her, I started cutting her, slashing & hacking all over & pouring spirit over the wounds while at it. She screamed wildly but it was muffled by the gauge cloth, I kept slashing her body till there was no skin left to slash anymore. Her body bounced up & down & she writhed with the intricate dwelling of pain that I was bestowing upon her over her temple of a body, but she was bound & couldn’t get free of it. Then I opened the box of condoms & took out all of them & made a sort of stuffing by putting all of them together & then I shoved it down her mouth & nose, she gasped & coughed for breath but she couldn’t, then I removed the blindfold off her eyes, eyes bloodshot, pleading me, hating me, the fear welling up, tears flowing down, she looked at me. I took a good look at her & then started cutting her throat as she choked & gurgled blood. The bed sheet was streaming with blood when I finally killed the bitch. I remember crying a lot with her head in my lap & wondering what next.

I poured some more spirit on her body to kill the stink of blood, went to the bathroom & bathed for a while. The ice cold water helped,I thought of many things, the thrill of killing her, the peace it gave me, the urge to kill & the ecstasy of the blood splashing across our bodies as she was dying & I smiled wryly. I was an artist, I was a guardian angel, I relieved her of all her whimsical worries, I was God. When I came back,I finally had the courage to cut her up in pieces & pack her in her trolley bag. I took the bloodied bed sheets & pillows & shredded them up with the surgical blade & my hands, that’s the beauty of the surgical blade it cuts like a charm even through the fabric. I took her belongings & put them in her bag along with her body parts.I dipped all the blood stained clothes in 2 bottles of surgical spirit & put it in her bag with her body parts. I went down after a while with the bag only to dump it off a cliff a few hours later, I went down,it was strange the lobby was deserted, no one was in sight, it just made things easier & roaming around a tourist paradise with bags is not a new sight. The way I packed her body parts by washing them with spirit made the bleeding stop & the bag remained spotless. I had a hard time dumping the bag but soon I found a deserted cliff & carried the bag to the edge & dropping it off. After coming back I ordered for room service & when the familiar bell boy came up I told him that she had a huge fight with me & left with all her stuff. I told him to bring up some whiskey for me with a bucket full of ice, it kind of worked, as he thought I might be sullen over her departure. I kept up the appearance for half a day more & then went down to the reception to check out of there. The bitch at the reception didn't believe my story, when I told her how my girlfriend stormed out after a fight & she didn't even care to take her Identity card. But given my inebriated baffle she thought i was just another wayward college kid who couldn't control his girlfriend, she obliged & gave me the identity cards but the way she looked at me, i knew I didn't make the charade too well.

I knew I had a very little window of opportunity before the whistle is blown. Eventually somebody would find the bag & the body within, I mean the beautiful custom made body parts that I made of her. The hotel staff would eventually find something despite all my beautiful work & the nosey receptionist bitch would eventually suspect & may file a complaint & Deepti's parents would frantically search for her, Oh yes the bitch's name was Deepti,nice name. Some friends in DU knew we came together. I knew I couldn't go back & I wouldn't go back. I took all my belongings & documents & threw them in a stream. Took just my toothbrush & my money & I took off from that beautiful place in a bus & set off to Chennai.

All the way in the bus & train, I looked at people, all their misery, their evilness, their wickedness,their frail human nature & I was above all. I was there to relieve the poor ones of their mortality, their weak stand in this earth. I smiled to myself. Its easy you know, to blend in again. I sat in the marina beach for 3 days in a row in the burning summer to change my looks, no one really care you know, no one cares who you are or what do you want, even the police patrol didn't care,I got sunburn & I noticed a strange face in place of mine, I started working in the chennai dockyard as a laborer, I got sun burn, my physique became lithe & athletic, I lost my good looks & became rugged, about a week later, I read about Deepti's gruesome murder in a paper, it got my photo & all about me, there was a prize of Rs 2 lakhs on my head too but I looked much different, I knew I got away. That was an art, a subtle art of getting away with it. I didn't miss my family. If I missed someone it was my mother, I didn't even care about the other bastards. I easily got a new identity card by paying Rs 300. Slowly worked my way up the power circle in the Dockyard & became a Owner of 2 trawlers in 2 years. During those 2 years I killed 2 women & a eunuch, count him as man if you wish,they committed some unforgivable crimes.What happened after those & what happened to me & what happened by me in the next 6 years,I don't feel so ecstatic talking about that now.Lets just keep the rest a secret,shall we ?